Coming Home

We never talked about a common discussion topic in traveling. Coming Home.

When coming home from a long trip you probably can't wait to tell about how great the experience was. And that's all fine and good but you will encounter some straits. First off you feel kind of estranged from all your friends and family. They won't appear as near as you imagined them to be while traveling.

The common problem is that your "state of mind" grew highly while on tour. But for most people at home, this isn't the case. And that's why you will never be able to fully explain the great learnings of your trip. They will have to experience it themselves.

"Of all of the journeys we make the journey home is often the most displacing,"

For me, the pivotal point was that I expected it to be easy to come home again. It was, for me, the hardest part in it all. You feel like a stranger in a known land. It doesn't really matter how much contact you had with home. It still is as hard as it is with nearly no contact.

I have found that when not trying to impress anyone with your biggest learnings or stories and don't expect anyone to ask you how it was you won't feel any disappointment. Sure, that's a hard one and you probably have to work years on your self-worth feeling to get into this state but when reached coming home can be enjoyable.

As I have pointed out in earlier posts it is important to just listen to your friends. They have probably had some great stories to tell what happened while you are not here. Ask them questions about the time, what they did and what bothered them. This will lead to a great conversation where both persons can talk about their interests. One of the few poems I really happen to like and which have influenced my life is the one of Walt Whitman: "To the sayer of words". Here is a small excerpt from it:

"I swear I see what is better than to tell the best;

It is always to leave the best untold."

This alone teaches you so much about human communication. If you don't believe me just answer to some polite questions by your friends or family only the key points, not saying too much. In most cases you will see that they won't dig any further.

It is very hard to grasp and get along with this since it destroys some sense of life for most of us. But, there are of course some really good things about coming home

I just recently discovered there is something very important that only home can give you. The family especially keeps you grounded. It lets you review your learned stuff, how much you advance. Your friends will, after a long trip, think you are a different human. But your not.

Home brings you back to the reality in a way that is uncomfortable. Through expanding your horizon you also expand your aspirations. How could I live in such a chaos room? How could I not spend every minute available with my family? It's funny, but for me, the best way to improve the relationship with my family was by going abroad for quite some time. Keep them up to date and always keep them in mind but still be away.

Spending time home is like training your old mind to grow up to the state you are now. You will do things differently. There will be things you didn't even notice before. For example how easily people get annoyed and mad by little things that are not worth the bother.

When you leave home for a longer period the first time it is likely that you experience nostalgia. You want to get back to your comfortable bed and live the life you always lived. But, coming home you won't understand why you wanted to get back.

Your memories always seem better than the reality. For both travel and home

rtro